Thursday, June 27, 2013

What Fans think of the "No Dating Rule" in the Idol World

So I posted a question on our H!P fanpage
"Your thoughts on the "NO DATING RULE" in the idol world?
Should the agencies lift the ban? or stick to the rule?
Tell us!"
Here's a compilation of their responses:
You are always free to comment below regarding your OWN opinion! ^_^

-vote for "stick to the rule"

-you can't date until 25 perhaps? So less graduation 

-actually like this rule! I mean, they're "idol" aren't they? So they are supposed to be pure and beautiful. I wanted to say things about fans being in love with them and showing it through supporting them but...I'm kind of loosing my English @_@

 -As a youth, dating could lead to lead to mistakes.. then the idols would lose their figure of purity. So, it might be a good thing that they keep that rule..Also, many people view dating at a young age as a bad thing. So, people might look down upon the idols for that reason.

-.but then again idols are not innocent...lets not forget the picture behind idols..and the main target.

I think it's a bit exaggerated... (or however you spell that word xD) I mean, what's the harm in just dating someone if it doesn't affect your work in any other way?

-I think the rule should be "You can't date until you reach a certain age" I mean every person dreams of being with that special someone so what harm could it be to let them find that one guy/girl that makes them happy. I say that idols 20 and over should be allowed to date at least, it's not fair that they can never have a family (if they plan to be an idol for a while) or at least be with the person they've come to fall in love with. This rule may keep many fans happy, but it's not worth it if that person them self can't be happy. Us fans should also understand that everyone wants a love life and we shouldn't stick our business into an idols love life, they're just human beings like all of us.
That's just my opinion though >..<

I say keep it. Here in US dating so young can get most in trouble or lead to things like drug abuse. And the loss of purity. I actually like the no dating rule.

-Against it. Virginity and purity is a myth constructed by religion and society. However it loses the 'idol' appeal to a lot of the fans (at least in Japan), so it'll never change. But even so, girls are going to and do break the rules all the time. It might put off some girls, but many of them are just going to be secretive and date anyway.

That rule keeps them popular. If they date, they aren't seen as desirable as if they were dating. So the rule stands in my eyes.

-I don't get how dating young leads to drug abuse. By that logic 80% of Americans would be on drugs. Lindsey Lohan did not do drugs because she dated young, it's because of her awful family situation.

-Seriously, some of the comments here are astounding. Dating someone or even (*dramatic gasp*) having sex does not make you a lesser person, and the drug abuse comments make no sense.

-My best opinion on this matter would be to keep it just for the fact that in order to keep their status as idols they can't be influenced by boys at least til their old enough... Plus it helps them grow up to be mature 

At least until a certain age should be fine. Can't always take away part of their humanity forever; they're humans just like us too 

 -When they are young, I think they should keep this rule. But when they are adults, I'm sure idols want to know what love is... so I guess, after they became adults, they should just let them dating someone as long as it doesn't affect their work as idol

 -Well Mina Kominato of T&C Bomber already had children when she joined H!P in the 90s and Nono and Iida (if not more) were also married while theyre were still in H!P (but not in MoMusu or W) so I think, UFP allwos dating at some point, I think tab magazines like Friday and Shunkan Bunshun make the big trouble out of it.

Idols are people too. They can't be held to impossible standards. I would understand if they said no dating until 16/18 but no dating at all, even for a grown woman, is absurd. I don't believe if they lifted the dating ban they would be less popular. I know there's the innocent virgin stereo type they have to live up too, but they shouldn't have too.

-Indeed. I'm always somewhat relieved when an idol who's an adult graduates for this reason. They can finally have somewhat of a normal life.

-Its better to keep it i guess. for one thing, it keep the idols from losing their mighr restrict their teen experience but yea~ that i how it goes when ur working at young age.

-I'm not being strict here. But when registring in H!P, didn't they agree to the fact that they will become idols? So maybe stick to the rule stands to be good.

i think it shouldn't be a big deal, but maybe be discouraged. i don't think 16 or so year old girls should be stopped from dating personally, but from the whole idol purity thing i can see that too, but they're human beings.

-Stick to the rule

-Stick to the rule ;

-Stick to it

 -I think they should let them dating secretly (so the wotas won't know xD) after they turned 18 or 20... ><

-stick to the rule & cover all the scandal, make no one knows that the idols are dating if they are
to be honest, I can accept [with a fatal blow] if some of them are secretly dating but I prefer to do not know
so the main thing is to not let the fans know anything about that

-At a certain age it becomes upsurd to keep that rule on them. I think it messes with their social growth. They are humans with feelings and emotions and need an outlet or else that curiosity can lead to trouble. How ironic is it that they sing about being in love but cannot experience it? Compared to western/Hollywood “idols” they are exposed to young here and it is over stimulus; while in Asia it is like they are hidden behind steel wall and are denied the smallest experiences. If they get curious or are caught for the most innocent situations, ala Airi, they have to apologize right away and beg for forgiveness. She didn’t smack a baby so lay off! I think if they are 16 and up they should be allowed to date casually and if need be, a chaperone. This way all parties involved know the guy, in this case, and can plan where to bury the body ahead of time…kidding. When they are 18 and up they have some experience and can know what kind of guy is right for them and know how to handle themselves. I remember what Rika said during a show that she really didn’t know how to approach a guy who she was interested in or how to react to a guy who would approach her. Being under lock and key for most of her teenage/adult life didn’t get ready for those situations.

-They should lift it cuz its not fair for them

-All i can say is that if they felt like they wanna date just let them graduate

-well if they adult aged they should date like 21+ but not before as it would ruin or spoil they singer life

 -can't say but if it's the rule it's the rule but it's up to the girls.

 -stick to the rule till they get 20 , then lift the ban . c'mon pal, they also human , i am momusu fans but i don't want them single forever , poor them ... 
they should get dating life, find a true love , then find someone that fit enough to get marry someday and having family.

-The real reason the rule exists is that these companies have a lot of young girls (eggs/kks etc) and parents don't want their little ones being influenced by "bad" role models within the groups. Wota don't really care about the dating trash (just look at this years AKB elections). People need to stop thinking of them as bands and start thinking of them as exclusive girl schools.

-The point is,to keep the idol focus.

-Stick to the rules,I feel jealous.

lift the stupid rule.

-Between school and work, when would any H!P idols have time for dating? The girls fully understand the trade off they are making when they enter idol life, they are living the dream life that so many others could only wish for. After Aibon's departure, everyone understood what they could lose if they broke the rules. Gakisan said that dating would be so tricky and complicated that it's not worth the headache, Sayu has said many times that she merely wants to please her fans, she's humbled by having a chance to be an idol and she wouldn't "spoil any fan's dreams" by causing trouble.

 -Keep the rule, but cmon this whole can't even breathe the same air as another man mess is getting out of hand, just like the idols have limits there should be limits on how far fans expect them not to live like any other girl and make friends be it girl or guy, because it is possible to be just friends with a guy. if an idol proves to break their trust of not hooking up with other men then just like any other job they break their contract, that simple. If they really care for their fans they wouldn't do it, and the fans should trust them vice versa.

-dream morning musume still use it? fuji to yuko is married right?

-OGs are exempt from the rule because they graduated from being idols. The dating rule only applies to girls still in the groups.(Excluding Dream Morning Musume and whatnot)


-Forget about pretty words. The rule makes idols greater popularity and yields greater profits for agencies!!! This is not a morality problem. It is profitability!Money.

 -just look at Lindsey Lohan and Miley Cyrus, what a nightmare, i think they would do much better than they are now - if they have that NO DATING and drug abuse rule.

i think they should stick to it...the rule may seem ridiculous but i dont really want to see my favorite idol kissing a dude and stuff but...i do think the rule should be lifted wen they reach a certain age

-KEEP IT! Just as long as they don't add...
"No interaction or being friendly with any male (like texting, talking, etc.) at any times except for family members"
Then it's good.

 -That rule keeps many fans happy.
It also keeps these girls from complicated scandals, planned scandals, and all the poops we can see in the US entertainment field. Not only in the US, I see bunch of poops like that in my home country too. Guess what? A young teenage girl dating a rich guy twice as old, causing all the troubles, a freaking lot of people hate her for the things she do, blah blah blah. You know, stuff like that is too complicated. Without the "no dating rule", it's easy for agencies to take advantage of the girls (like causing scandals, telling them to date a specific famous guy to get more attention from public, blah blah blah)


My comment:

In my personal point of view, I'd like to stick to the rule too, given ONLY if they'd be allowed to date after a certain age. Yes, seeing your beloved idol with another guy is kind of heart shattering for most fans but behind that "idol" mask, their still human beings too---- capable of loving and being loved. And isn't love part of  Maslow's heirarchy of needs? But at the end of the day, it's still NOT our decision to make, it's between the agency and the idol---mostly, it lies in the hand of the idol, she can either follow the rules or risk the consequences of breaking it. So whether to lift the dating ban or stick to it, it still goes down to self-discipline. 


  1. Japanese employers often make what Westerners consider outrageous demands on their employees. Add to that Asian girls tend to begin dating later than their American or European counterparts. Given this, I doubt the girls are that inconvenienced by the "no dating" rule.

  2. It is a stupid rule. It is old-fashioned and yes, made for the wota fantasy. As a girl I could not care less if they date or not (both male or female idol), as long as they are happy and not envolving the group. I mean, a lot of idols already date in secret and must be awful to love someone in secret... So yes, stupid rule.

  3. I wish they can date with someone at a certain age, maybe 20/21. Have a lover probably can cheer the idols, and for me as a foreigner, this rule just somehow make me feels that idols are company's slave..

  4. Let them be human, let them have a love interest. I think it would make them more popular if fans think they actually have a chance to date them

  5. Honestly, I would not like young girls like Kuduu, Ayumin or Sakura to date. However it should be ok for the senpais like Sayumi or Maimi. I know being pure it's part of the idol image, but even Tsunku himself said "we can't stop their growing forever". So with the ban being lifted for adult girls, they could stay longer in the groups, if they desire it. However I strongly doubt that the ban will ever be lifted from H!P.

  6. I'm having second thoughts on this no dating rule. I think that we're branding our girls stupid/naive by saying that they're less human if prohibited from dating. Of course, girls in general have the "right" to date someone they like but there are things called "responsibilities" and "obligations". In exchange for fame and glamour, these girls and their parents know there will be limitations in what they could do. Idols in the age of majority are the ones who sign their contract and have the most experience and knowledge about unwritten(?) rules, they should know they are not possession of their fans/wota but it's these wota who put and maintain their relevance in the idol fandom.

    On the other hand, I'm a western fan that believes that Idols should marry and have kids in the future in order for them to be truly called successful. I just think idols should concentrate on their careers and improve their quirks and talents, and that their other half will arrive on the right time and situation.

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